Erika Cuevas

EC: Soy Erika Cuevas [EF: Okay] Erika Danielle Cuevas.

EF: Okay. Hoy es viernes, catorce de noviembre de dos mil catorce. Um, ¿Dónde naciste y creciste tú? 

EC: I was born in Stockton, California and that’s where I grew up, too. 

EF: Okay. ¿Cómo fue tu niñez?

EC: Um … it was good; I actually, up until, I’d say six years old I grew up a lot with my grandparents and that’s how I ‘know’ Spanish, but after that they moved back to Mexico and my grandma only came down for summers so I have like a limited knowledge of Spanish now that I’m older [EF: Okay] but I’m working with it. (risa)

EF: Okay, good, good. Um, so your mo-, your family’s from Mexico? From where, exactly?

EC: Um, Michoacán y Veracruz. 

Erika Cuevas Youtube Interview

Erika was interviewed in Gambier, OH.

EF: Veracruz, okay. Uh, ¿Qué tradiciones eh, trataron de mantener tus padres en tu, en tu vida?

EC: I feel like a lot of the traditions they passed down was like, like Catholic ones, I feel like I know some things but not by name, if someone brings it up, the practice of it like, “Oh yeah we did that too a couple of times” but I don’t know things by name, other than like, Mariachis or Quinceañeras and stuff like that at Spanish socio-cultural events I feel like, I lost touch with the names of things. 

EF: ¿Tuviste una quinceañera?

EC: No … no. Mis primas, sí, pero yo no. 

EF: Tus primas, sí … ¿en qué año llegaste a Ohio por primera vez?

EC: Ah, 2012. Yeah. 

EF: Okay, okay. ¿Y qué impresión tuviste de Ohio cuando llegaste?

EC: Not a lot of diversity (risa) well I mean, here, I, when I first came I didn’t look at Columbus or anything, or any major, urban areas. So what I saw was Gambier, Ohio. So I was like, “Oh, I don’t see a lot of people of color. Maybe I’m missing them. I don’t know,” so …

EF: Aha, aha. What, what are some of those first memories that you have of first being here and, sort of settling in and…?

EC: My first year I felt, well I came early for a pre-orientation program um, where there were a lot of white students and I was like, “I picked the wrong pre-college program” and I was like, “I just want to go home now” it was the first week and I was like, “No. Just like, push yourself. Talk to people.” And then it became better (risa). 

EF: Great. ¿Me puedes hablar acerca de la persona más, o una de las personas más importantes en tu vida?

EC: Ah, mi mamá. Um, sí. She … I mean she came to the US when she was a child, like very young when she was toddler, she was born in Mexico, and she only spoke Spanish at home. But when she went to school, she, she had to learn English for herself um, and I think that’s partially the decision why she decided to keep me a little detached from Spanish in the house, even though she spoke it very fluently, she spoke English without an accent um, but I’d say she also just instilled in a me a lot of the values that I hold like, very, like they’re like very, just essential to like, who I am. 

EF: Do you have any siblings?

EC: I do – I have younger sister um, not younger by that much, she’s a year and a half younger, she’s starting her first year in college now. And I have a little brother who’s thirteen. 

EF: Okay. Can you tell me a little bit about um, what it was like growing up, with them, you’re the oldest sister. Can you tell me a little bit, and maybe think about some of the, if there’s any games or traditions that your mom taught to you or passed down to you that you guys sort of played or practiced?

EC: I don’t know if we, we played any like, traditional, regular games. We roughhoused a lot, like around the house. When we did something really bad she would say to stop in Spanish, so did my grandmother, she’d be like, “No te, no te…” what you say, uhh? How to say fight? I don’t even know … [EF: No, no … peleen] Peleen, yeah. And we’d just look at each other and be like, “Ugh” (risa) Um, so, so we fought a lot at my grandma’s house when she would come over for the summers but we, in terms of games, I just say like, regular games, hide-n-seek um, during Christmas there’d be tamales, it’s not really games but like, in terms of family activities, during Christmas or, really any holiday or if there was a birthday or celebration, we’d always, the girls would always go to grandma’s house first and help with the masa, but um, like, I’d, I’d also we just have a lot of more girls in the family, so that became kind of tradition, just for all the girls to go over early to grandma’s house and help cook.

EF: Great, great. Um, ¿Has tenido trabajos aquí en Kenyon?

EC: Ah sí. Dos. (risa)

EF: ¿Cuáles son?

EC: Um, so I work um, at the career development office as an intern, and I also have a research intern job with the sociology department. 

EF: ¿Y qué haces en estos lugares? 

EC: So as an intern at the career development office I answer phones and emails and coordinate events that they’re planning. Um, so a lot of them just have to do with like, resume building and uh, curriculum. And as research intern I look at transcripts of documents, newspapers and other types of media relating to um, the Black community within Ohio, specifically this area, the Knox County. Um, and then I work on like geo-locating where these events took place if they’re mentioned in the newspaper. Um, things like that. 

EF: Okay, okay. Um, you are involved with Adelante [EC: Mhm] Uh, tell me about that. Why did you decide to join and what kind of things do you like about this organization? 

EC: I joined when I was a first-year I think it’s because I was looking for a sense of community within, just like, Latino students, and just, I want to be reminded of who I am, even though I felt like I really like hadn’t … had a sense of it, even back home. I mean I went to school in an area that was predominately like Hispanic and Black but, I still felt like I was also judged just for not speaking Spanish so fluently, but my Latino friends and cousins, other family members, who spoke it better than I did. So I felt like, I really wanted just to practice Spanish more but also gain a better understanding of the culture, of it … of Latino culture. Um, and I stuck with it, now it’s my junior year and I’m actually like president, but I feel like, I feel like … not having such a keen … touch with the culture kind of, still sometimes makes me feel like I’m partially an outsider, I’m not, totally an insider, it’s difficult to explain. 

EF: Okay, um … from what you’ve seen in two years, right? This is your second year. What have you seen in other people? What, what does it mean to other people, that join.. 

EC: I feel like to them it is also just like … comforting to speak Spanish with other people who do know it and to, to talk about things that, wouldn’t be um … someone outside the culture may not understand. So just talking about like when it comes to food or music, certain like, artists or groups, I feel like it’s just, it, it creates comfort and the space is […] For people who feel like they’re far from home. 

EF: Great. Tell me about your use of Spanish. Uh, if and when do you use it and who do you use it with and when do you not, you prefer not to?

EC: I feel like most of the time when I’m here, you know, at home, I use it when I can’t find a word in English to describe a certain thing, um, a lot of the times even I feel like if I speak Spanish, or English too often, I actually forget certain words, like what just happened right now, peleando, um … so I feel like a lot of the times when I am speaking Spanish, it is with Spanish speaking people when I know they speak Spanish um … and it’s also just to make them feel more comfortable too, if they feel like they don’t want to speak English. 

EF: Is there instances where you … sort of, don’t want to use it or…?

EC: I feel like the only time I don’t want to speak Spanish is when I know I’m either surrounded with people who don’t know it so well or I feel like they do know it, it’s like the inverse, they know it too well and I might mess us so I hold back. 

EF: Aha. (risa). Um … since you’ve mentioned this uh, sort of struggle of, with, with Spanish um, can you think of a specific example of a, a good experience with, with the language and maybe also bad experience? So this can be in the private realm or, or in the public. 

EC: I actually was taking um, an inter-, intermediate level Spanish um, last year, and I feel like, we had AT session which is like, assistant-training, teaching groups jus to like get more practice in. We had that three out of, three days out of the week and I feel like, in the beginning, um the first semester a lot of people looked to me to be like, “Oh Erika probably knows the answer…” And like, “Noooo” (risa) Um, most of the time I did so it was, I, it was a chance for like, me to be surprised at myself for how much I really did remember. But then as it got more like, difficult in the last semester, I didn’t want them looking to me for help with Spanish because I felt like, ‘Oh, I actually don’t know a lot of this, I’m like learning all the grammar with you’ um, so I felt like that was both a positive experience in the sense that like, I did remember or know more than I thought I did, but also like learning a lot more about grammar that I didn’t have a clue about before. 

EF: From what you’ve seen in this town um, what are some of the efforts that people are making to maintain the language uh, do you feel that this area, fosters that or, or if, also you have to look for opportunities so you don’t forget, sort of like what you just mentioned, a little bit ago?

EC: In terms of like this little town in particular, and actually in the entire county I feel like … I don’t see a lot of like, Latino or Hispanic people, and I feel like, if you, you do want to practice Spanish and engage more in it, you do have to seek out opportunities and people, groups, to engage in. I don’t feel like there’s a really strong effort to preserve the language or for practice. 

EF: ¿Hay algunas frases o dichos uh, específicos que te gusta usar en español? Like, this thing I always say in Spanish o algo así, no? Uh, o, que tienen una conexión eh, con tu familia. 

EC: Um … I’d say a lot of the time when I’m feeling really down and out or like unmotivated um, I remember my grandma’s words, “ ponle muchas ganas” and, I … I feel like those words just keep coming back to me and I also just like say it to myself in my head when I’m feeling really unmotivated or tired um … I’d say that phrase is the singular one that stands out to me. 

EF: Okay, great. Um … um, what are eh, your, parents or your, your mom, what are some of the stories form her life, her childhood, or maybe even your grandmother, if you remember, what are some of the stories about when they were young that they like to tell or that you like to listen to?

EC: Um … I don’t know if there are like a lot of positive ones I remember (risa) um, I feel like a lot of them were the stories that I had heard when I was younger were meant to, to teach me, you know, work hard, I would remember my grandma telling me about how she would like work picking onions in California, that’s where we’re from. And how her hands would be sore and numb after working a lot. I remember those stories from my grandma but is also remember um, my mom telling me about how my abuelo came through the bracero program, and just about how he traveled all along the coast from Oregon to California and to work multiple jobs, you know like migrating with the work. And in terms of like my mother’s own childhood, once she was actually here, she just told me a lot about being put in a different English learners, or being put in a different classroom when she couldn’t speak English that fluently um, and just how that influenced her decision to raise me in, with less Spanish. 

EF: Do your siblings speak Spanish ? 

EC: They do but it’s interesting, as the oldest one I feel like I had the most exposure with my grandparents, and my sister was there too when she was younger but she was, like a baby pretty much, she doesn’t remember a whole lot of Spanish but she, she has a, a working knowledge of it. But my younger brother who actually was born after my grandpa, grandfather passed really doesn’t know a lot um, he knows a few phrases and words but when my grandma tells him to go get a broom or something, he’s like, “¿Qué es eso? I don’t know” (risa) and my grandma’s like, “Mira, esto es…” (risa). Um, so I feel like with him we have to work a lot harder but my sister and I are at least able to form sentences when we’re talking with our grandmother. [EF: Aha] So it’s interesting, there’s like different, degrees …

EF: Um, I know you’re young and you just said this is your second year here, right? [EC: Third, third] Oh third, okay, third year. Uh, but, what has been the proudest moment in your life so far?

EC: Oh God … here or just in general? I guess I have to say my high school graduation because … I went to a competitive high school, it was a charter school, but a lot of the times I felt like I’d never make it out. (risa) I feel like … it was also just one of those moments when my entire family was there, pretty much, and just to feel them and see them like, behind me and proud of me, I think is what makes it stand out. I feel like college and college graduation will like trump that, but I think that’s, just that moment because they already knew I was headed, to here, so it was like a moment of anticipation but also, pride. 

EF: Mhm, mhm. In these two years that, that you’ve been here, how do you feel that Ohio has shaped you?

EC: Um … before coming here I actually never really traveled out of California. I went to like Europe for like a week, but um, I never really had been to th-, this part of the country, so I just feel like it’s opened my eyes to what else is out there. And just, meeting different people also has just shaped how I perceive my surroundings now and, it’s different it’s li-, I don’t want to say that it’s almost a different culture, but it kind of is, um, coming here from the West Coast. Um … I’ve also, just because, this is college, I’ve just opened my eyes to a lot of other things too. 

EF: What has been one of the most difficult times of living here?

EC: I’d say last year, during the winter, not just because it was a really bad winter, but I also felt really homesick last year. And I only go home about once a year, it’s usually for Christmas, and one time I went home for Spring Break but that was only because I had a, a waiver for, an airline ticket, so, it’s hard going back only once or twice a year, I feel like, when I return home it doesn’t feel the same. I don’t feel like the same person … and I’m not really sure where I consider home now, I guess both places, Stockton and here but … I also just feel dislocated in that sense. Like I don’t know where I belong. 

EF: From what you’ve learned here and, at the college and, and your various roles, what advice would you give new uh, especially Latinos coming to Gambier?

EC: I’d say to definitely just seek out people who you think you already have something in common with. Um, I feel that’s why a lot of first-years who are anxious about preserving their sense of being Latino, join Adelante or they join La Tertulia, or go to Spanish tables too, we have that um, just to practice but, I would also just encourage them to not stick with one group of friends either. Um, just to explore different circles and … I wouldn’t say not to come to Kenyon, but I definitely feel like when I was looking at schools, I wasn’t aware of everything that was and wasn’t here. And now that I’ve been here I’m trying to help with the improvements, but it’s a lot to take on and, a lot to try to accomplish in four years before you leave. So …

EF: Okay. Um, is there anything else that you would like to add that I haven’t asked you?

EC: Ooo, (risa) Umm … I don’t know, I feel like, some people don’t know what Cuevas means, you know, they don’t even decipher that it is a Spanish last name or a Spanish word even, but I feel like for those who do know Spanish and do know what Cuevas means are like, they … I haven’t had anyone go up to me and approach me just speaking Spanish, well actually not, that’s a lie, I have, I was in the airport (risa) but here I’ve never had that happen, on campus, but I feel like, just having that last name, I feel like there’re already expectations for me in terms of language and culture like, just an expectation to have that knowledge, and it does make me feel like somewhat of, I don’t want to say imposter but like, I would use the word ‘outsider’ before um, but I do feel like I’m lacking in some sense, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been made to feel that way or already have been feeling that way for such a long time. So I think that’s kind of interesting. But I also feel like, sometimes it’s … I mean I know I carry that identity but at the same time I’m just like, how much right do I have to claim that if I’m not completely aware of the culture and language? So, I, it’s just been something that I’ve been thinking about.