2. Los Activistas
Rosa Torres Caskey
RC: My name is Rosa Torres Caskey, I was born and raised in Waco, Texas. Torres is my maiden name um, my parents uh, long history—Torres is a very common name, and it’s a popular name so. And on my mother’s side it was Monreal, so Monreal Torres Caskey. My family, a lot of them to this day, can’t pronounce Caskey. They do, “Cosi, Casi…” you know it’s just. So Rosita is Rosita, that’s, that’s the way it is so.
EF: When did you move to Ohio?
RC: I was very young, my mother comes from a family of thirteen. My dad comes from a family of twelve and they had three children, cause they wanted a better life. My dad passed away while I was very young, so I took the role of helping my mom, I was the middle child but I was the leader of our family. My mom was not educated, she did not read or write and in elementary school so, I became her translator. We had a car, when my dad died, we had a car but, no one drove. So my brother uh, who was about, fourteen, thirteen, fourteen, was attempting to drive the car so, we became illegally drivers because (laughter) he was taking us to the grocery store and things were close but when you have to haul that stuff and you don’t want to haul it, you do it in the car. I was responsible for my mom for a lot of things, you know, filing social security, paying the bills and, learning how to do a check book because my dad left us a check book. Well right there, and a lot of times we would go to Texas Bell and pay the phone bill and so a lot of times we would ask questions and stuff and so my mom managed very well. But then I left Texas, I was very young, I married at seventeen and met my husband while he was in the military service at Fort Hood and he thought I was much older than I was, and I thought he was much younger… he was 22 at the time, and he was getting out of the service. He said, “I live in Ohio” and I thought, “Great. Where’s Ohio?” (laughter), cause you can travel days, to be in Texas and never, never leave the state. And we had relatives all over from El Paso to Brownsville to Laredo to across the border and, Dallas and El Mirado, all over Texas and when family reunions got together it, it was a big party. Um, not everybody came but everyone attempted to come but, I left Texas and I remember telling my husband that, he had to meet my family. We had to meet grandmas, we had to meet all the siblings and so, he came around and he got to meet everybody. My grandmother teased him and she wondered why I was introducing him and I had to break the news that I was going to get married and we were gonna be leaving. And so, again, they had no concept of where Ohio was. You know, like, “Oh we’ll see you on the weekends” or something like that, you know. So, the transaction was made—they got the seal of approval, or he got the seal of approval, grandma liked him and so…she talks about, “don’t leave her stranded across some bridge” and she holds my hand and she says, “M’ija, you can always come home. You can always come home. If you don’t like Ohio you can always come home.” And, and I said, “Yeah I know grandma, I know” and she was not known as ‘grandma’, she was known as ‘mamito’. And mamito was has a special place in everybody’s heart and, they say I have her spirit but I still don’t see it but (laughter) … very strong woman, all the women were very strong in our family on both sides: my dad’s and my mother’s side. I came to Ohio and after a few hours I thought, “Okay we’re still in Texas but” you know, I was anxious to see Ohio. We came the long way around, up through Oklahoma and Saint Louis because my husband wanted me to see as much of the country as I possibly could and I fell in love with the Midwest. Uh, the mountains, the woods the landscape, just everything. I mean, when you’re in Texas you can see flat and you can see the sun smoldering up in the air, cause it’s so hot. But here you see, our trees are short [in Texas] they don’t get a lotta water, they get mostly sun so they don’t grow really tall and … gracious, the way the trees do here in Ohio, and other places! So I wanted to do more traveling cause I really liked what I saw going across the country to come to Ohio. But when we came here it was … he was from Dayton so he was anxious to show me Dayton, Ohio and we talked during the trip about the base and some things that were going on and, and what was happening, He also said, that he wasn’t aware of Hispanics in the town where he lived in and he had explained that he had moved from Dayton to Beavercreek because of Highway 35 coming through and, and so uh, it was more of an affluent area, but he was not aware of brown-skinned people of, Mexicans or, or Hispanics in, in his circles. And so I said, “Okay, not a problem. It’s all right. And I had my son, I have you and we’re gonna be happily married, happily ever after.” So we come to Dayton and we looked for an apartment and we secured the apartment and he started going back to work, and I started to go shopping in different places and the first thing I recognized was that the grocery stores did not have the spices that we were accustomed to using. He would take me to places like Lafino’s and Woody’s, different places that carries more of an international scope of products, and so we were able to find whole garlic and whole cominos, because I didn’t know how to use the measurements of the little bottles, the powder, yeah, so, when it says ‘three ajos ’ you go, “Okay …” (laughter) “How much is three ajos in there?” you know, so, those are the kinds of things that I encountered right away, [it] was some of the cooking. When I left my grandmother, mamito, gave me my sartén. My other grandmother gave me my molcajete, and the molcajete is used for the salsa and the chilis and we grind our garlic and the comino and all of that. I can remember stories of my grandmother with the long comal, like this, where she would do the corn and roll the corn and get it smashed to a liquid form and then make the tortillas and she cooked on a pot-belly stove, for as long as I can remember and that’s what she used. We would get up in the morning, we’d put fire in there and, she would have the coffee on the top and in the sartén and that’s how she would cook them, when we would go to her house. And that was a joy to go visit our grandmothers; one was more of in the ranching, farm animals and chickens and ducks and all of that and, my other grandmother, was more the homemaker—she taught us, if we got in trouble we had to sit on the porch, we read bible verses, and then we also had to sew. So we either did the tejidos, which was the needle point, we had to do something cause we were in trouble so, and the demonio, we always had (laughter) the demons, so that was a way of calming ourselves to get rid of the demonios, (laughter) the demons. But when we got started here in Ohio I was not used to what I call ‘the city’ and to me Dayton was ‘the city,’ and the fact that people stared at you a lot because you were a person of color and, and again I was very young so I did not have these experiences to know. I found a library and so I started reading, that was part of my weekly routine, I strolled my little son over to the library and we’d go to the library. Um, I did reading just, trying to expand everything that I knew about Ohio and the Midwest and, different cultures and all this. We moved to Xenia, we moved to Green County and, I loved the whole idea because it was Green County (laughter) something about … it just sounds like it’s more life so I loved Green County and, we were married 38 years until he passed and … then I was active in Green County in, civic affairs, organizational affairs, community affairs, you name it. We came in March, March 6, 1968 um, we went to the base the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base because they advertised a Mexican dance and it was celebrating Independence Day, like in September and so, we went, we went—of course we didn’t know anybody, but my husband took me, bless his heart, um, and we sat at a little table and, we just talked about, “Listen to that, everybody’s talking in Spanish” (laughter) and he’s Anglo so he doesn’t speak Spanish and so he’s like, “I’m picking something up” you know and I was just so excited and, you know, when you’re at the grocery store you almost accost anybody that’s in the line, when you hear somebody speaking Spanish, you’re going across trying to see, “Who is that? Who is that? What are they, where are they …?” and just to hear the language … I found was a real void in, in talking to people and being a part of the community. Where, where I lived in Waco, Texas I mean, my Aunt Cecilia was a teacher, I had a cousin who was the Sheriff’s department, and one was a highway patrolman, one was a commissioner, our church, all of my relatives were the teachers in the church, and they were the elders of the church so, to me that was strong leadership and, when I remember asking my husband, “Where are all the brown people? Where are the Mexicans?” I mean, cause I just really believed that Mexicans were all over, you know, all over the United States, I mean we had relatives in California, we had relatives in Chicago, we had relatives in New York so, where were they in Ohio? What have they done to my people? (laughter), because I know they’re here but they’re just, they’re just not visible and what I’ve learned is that we are an invisible culture. We try to assimilate and my husband he tried very hard to get me to assimilate. I used to have long hair when I came here, long hair, and he would say, you know, “Don’t wear those flowers cause people are gonna know you’re different” um, “Don’t speak Spanish, you know, to my son because people are gonna notice that” and so, I’m saying, “Well, okay, okay” I’m trying to figure this out and trying to be a dutiful wife, at the same time so, trying to listen to him and do all of this and, and thinking “Okay” um, the men always try to pick you because you’re, you’re, you’re different I guess, I don’t know, and so that was offensive to me because where I come from and you just didn’t do that to women or to girls. And especially a woman with a child, I was probably young but I was, I was a woman with a child so, at least I felt old. But over the course of the years, I have two children, and again, we did not, I had this stuff in boxes [points to cultural artifacts] I had it in my closet, I had some of it on my walls, and when I was missing my culture or missing my family, I got a ticket to go home. I got to travel home quite frequently; about six, seven times a year I would go home. Now I go less frequently, but they come up so, we still have that connection but, when you’re newlyweds or you’re young marrieds, you don’t have the extra money to do a lot of things but, he just, he put it on the charge card cause, once I started crying there was no stopping me (laughter) about missing my family or missing the void that was, was missing in what I was doing. We had women, my cousins, my aunts, my, everybody, that would go in the kitchen and we’d all cook together, it was a communal thing, and the noise, the laughter, the conversations … I think this is true of all Latino families, you can have ten different conversations going and you still hear it and you’re like, “No, no, no, that’s not true” and then it’s like, “Eehh ye” you know, and so, you have this, I don’t know it’s just so much fun and this liveliness that happens. Um, but in that uh, that’s one of the things that I miss was that, and he came from a small family and there were no extended family for him so, um, I just missed …
Rosa Torres Caskey Youtube Interview
EF: You mentioned some of the things that you had in boxes, you just quickly mentioned how, when you came you had something in boxes and you hung up some things when you moved here to Ohio, so I wanted to ask you along those lines, what are some of the traditions that you try to keep, or that you tried to keep with your kids as they were growing up? And for yourself, too?
RC: Well I’m real proud of them because we make flour tortillas on a regular basis, I didn’t know you could buy them at the store (laughter) and so, when we had rice and beans at least, two, three times a week um, I was, I have beans in the refrigerator but I’m making a big pot of beans and the kids would say, “Mom we already have beans” and I say, “You always have a pot of beans” (laughter) my grandma, my mom, always had a pot of beans and we put them in the freezer. So, now when they come over and they’re like, “Mom’s got beans in the freezer” and when they don’t they’re like, “What kind of Mexican are you? You don’t have beans in the freezer” (laughter) um, but yeah we, you know, we learned, they were taught to make tortillas very early on when they were little, with the little rolling pin, the little ones like this and they’d put them on the sartén and cook their little tortillas and they’ve learned to make tortillas and my grandchildren have learned to make tortillas which is a tradition thing. We taught them how to make tamales um, they love to eat them, they don’t like to make them because of the process but, when my mom comes, my sister comes or somebody comes, we usually make tamales in the kitchen so that, you know, they can come and participate in that. The salsa and the chile, again, I didn’t know you could get this at the store uh, Frank’s Hot Sauce and the picante and El Paso salsa and all those, because we made our own from scratch. We always had tomatoes, we had chilies that we grew in our own gardens, and so you made chile. And so we, you know, my husband learned to make salsa just as good as I did and so did my son and so did my daughter and, to this day, I don’t have to cook because somebody does the tortillas, somebody does fajitas, somebody does the rice, somebody does the beans and “mama, just come sit down.” So mama comes and sits down and, my son makes cheater enchiladas now with, you know, he gets the can of salsa to pour over the, the enchiladas … “These are pretty good” he said, “They came, I got the sauce out of the can” and I went, “Oh” and uh, and I said, “Okay, we just now named this cheater enchiladas.” Chris is famous for his cheater enchiladas. But they’ve been eating um, aguacates since they were born, salsa since they were born (laughter) they just get used to it and roll it up, I mean, hot tortillas with butter and roll em up and eat em and run out the door. The best! The best! So the cooking, I’d say, was what they learned, the sewing, not so much. I think I had problems with that because I knew that was part of a castigo, that was part of a punishment so, you know, I didn’t stress that as much but, the cooking, they got it. Yeah.
EF: I assume that you were mainly a stay-at-home mom, when your kids were young?
RC: When my kids were young, yes. Once they got into school then, again because I had spent a lot of time in libraries and community events and what was going on, I was very active, coming from Texas where my family was very active in everything, and then to come and we’re not a part of the community and so, I made an effort to become a part of the community. We looked around to find a Catholic church cause, I personally am not Catholic, although I was baptized Catholic but I was raised Presbyterian, and so my husband says, “Well, maybe there’s a Catholic church, you could listen to the mass” and I said, “Oh, I could do mass.” Cause, you know, my mom would let us do anything if it was church related so my cousins, we already had a plan that we could, we could go anywhere if it was church related so, so we always, got dolled up and were doing stuff with the church cause it was church related, the moms always let us go so we went out to see if we could meet cute guys and see who was wearing what, so. So we went, we looked and, at the time, Dayton was having Spanish mass once a month and I waited for that time, when we went to the mass, my husband didn’t go, but I went to the mass and there was less than five people there, including the priest and the people that helped, so there was probably three people in the audience including myself and, of course it was very quiet, and no one, no one spoke, but it was a connection for me so, I still went and I marked it on my little calendar, which ones were highlighted so I would make an effort to go to Catholic mass. All the time I was still going to a Presbyterian church on Sunday afternoon cause mass was like at one o’clock, two o’clock in the afternoon, so when I got off church there then I’d go to mass and listen to mass but, and again it was the language, listening to the language. And now they have two masses going on and they have Catholic Church every Sunday, every Sunday, and Saturday.
EF: What jobs have you had here?
RC: I’ve been very blessed, my husband told me that I would never find a job because I was too young and I probably wouldn’t get hired, okay, because of the color of my skin. So I thought, “Well, okay” my first job was at JC Penneys as a clerk, and I had strong ties, cause I had gotten a scholarship when I was young and so, I worked at a library at El Centro College in Dallas and so, that’s how the library thing all came out. I guess I interned as a library aide in El Centro, in Dallas at 15, so even then I was in a library but, I stared working at JC Penneys as a sales clerk and then after that, took some more time off, and then I started working at the schools: I was volunteering in the library at the schools and they said, “Well you need to apply for this job” and so, I applied and they hired me and I was a library aide for the schools with my kids in school and that was good. And then, as my husband got ill, he would get laid off and times were bad, whatever. My daughter, at the time, was going into the girl scouts, or brownies, whatever that was and, my husband said, “Why you want her to do that?” I say, “I remember those little girls (laughter) and we never got to be in it cause mom wouldn’t let us go” but I said, “I want to do that” so I became a troop leader in scouting and so, then someone in the field executive office said, “You are so good at what you do. You need to apply at the Girl Scout office.” So I went from the school system, the library, to the girl-scout office and I worked for the Girl Scout office in the reception office, they quickly moved me to the shop where they sold the badges and all the stuff and I organized, organizational skills, I had all these little cubbies and, everything marked so after that my husband got even sicker. He had heart disease and kidney failure and liver problems and, he wanted me to come closer to home, cause by the time I left Girl Scouting, I was one of the first Latino field executives in the area and I had a pretty great region: I was master trainer; education was always part of what I liked to do. So, they sent me onto Newark, and I’d go do trainings in different areas in the country because they sent diversity teams, so I was part of that diversity, being Latino. So, after that I went to work … my husband called me one day and, I was happy at my job, and he called me one day and, of course he’s always wanting me to come closer to home, so he had called me and says, “I think your job’s just, was listed in the paper” and I said, “What do you mean?” And he said, you know, “Volunteer coordinator at the museum in Wilberforce” and I said, “Oh. That’s like five minutes away from my house” I say, “Well, I’ll put an application in” and I put in my application. I went to Texas, I came back and I had messages and a letter saying they’d like to see me for an interview. So I worked for the National Afro-American Museum and Cultural Center, for 18 years after that so. I’ve been blessed. I’ve had some really good jobs and when they closed, I went back to get my license and teaching degree and I’m an elementary school teacher now.
EF: Are you teaching right now?
RC: Yes, I am. Well, I’ve been teaching about three years. I considered myself teaching at the museum cause we taught for the proficiency test for third graders and fifth graders and so, when they came to do the social studies content, of what they needed, I would ask teachers, “What do they need to cover? What do they need to cover?” Because I tried to do living history, so that the kids could actually see a reenactment of the underground railroad or, they would see videos on the Industrial Revolution, what happened in this country, the migration, you know, we would have people walking through the museum saying, “I’m going to Michigan” (laughter), moving and migrating to get new jobs. So that’s what I did at the museum so, I felt like I was a teacher and went back to teaching.
I did a lot of work with migrant workers but then you had the other side as well, you had professionals and middle-class families that were also struggling and dealing with some issues…
EF: What have been some of the hardest or most difficult times of living here?
RC: Probably the social injustice. Again, I was very active in church affairs, the church is always trying to reach out to the communities and, when families have real problems, the church cannot always intervene and that to me that was very frustrating because sometimes you’d go and you’d tell these stories and the church would say, “Well, our hands are tied,” “We can only do this or we can only do that” and, “Lo siento but, nothing” my relationship with the Hispanic population was very limited because everyone was dispersed in different areas … if you went to a club or you went to a party that was specific for either the September 15th celebration for the Independence Day or for George Washington’s birthday, which we used to celebrate a lot in Texas (laughter) uhm, just different things like that. The church was very instrumental but, they didn’t do enough, so the social justice for me was key. We traveled a lot though Ohio, going to Michigan and stuff for different church affairs and, I remember seeing migrant workers working in the fields. I literally made my husband stop so that I could watch or maybe even talk to somebody, and then that just hit me that I needed to, to maybe participate with some of the migrant workers. I got involved with FLOC at the time which was around Cleveland, Lorain area, Toledo area, and our church was Kentucky, Ohio and Michigan and our centered office was in Toledo and they were very familiar with FLOC so I gravitated to Toledo, a lot, working with a lot of those issues that they had, celebrations, I got invited, we went clear to Toledo, we got great tamales (laughter) we got great food (laughter) and we were treated very well. I found that my translation skills … my family would laugh at my Spanish because I’d go home and, “Hahaha! M’ija, haha. That’s not how you say it” and I’m like, “Uh, well I’m losing it” so, but, of what I found interesting was that they wanted me as a translator in Toledo (laughter) because I at least spoke enough to, to get by. But, the social injustice, and so one of the things that, when families were getting kicked out of their apartments or they would lose their jobs because they got hurt on the job, and then the church is telling me that their hands are tied. I had a long time affiliation with LULAC, the League of United Latin American Citizens, my family was a part of that, I still have relatives that are a part of that, and I would call my Aunt Matilda, “This is what they’re doing, can you believe this?” And so, we would have civil rights discussions and so they kept uh, didn’t realize it, but at the time they were pushing me to, “You need, you need to do something about it. That’s not right” and so then, recognizing that the church was limited in what they were doing … So we started a LULAC organization in Ohio and from that, I mean it’s grown and, we took on a couple of immigration issues: we took on a couple of … we did translations for a lot of organizations and businesses at the time and hospitals and the Hispanic population just started growing … I did a lot of work with migrant workers but then you had the other side as well, you had professionals and middle-class families that were also struggling and dealing with some issues and some people that, you know, they say that they’re, they’re Latinos or they’re Mexican but they don’t want to admit it because then they don’t want to be categorized as the Mexican who, who causes or creates some of their own situations and, and they just don’t want to be a part of that I guess, or, you know, they don’t want people to make the connection.
EF: What does Ohio mean to you?
RC: Uh … Ohio, actually I’ve grown fond of Ohio. I have learned to love Ohio like I said, Green County to me was the best county ever and, and I’ve made some inroads in Green County. I love Ohio because it…it’s still, it’s still open to some changes if they need to be made. I still think that it’s a state that tries to do what’s good for their people, for Ohio, coming from the 1960’s I’ve seen a lot of changes happen in Ohio. I remember the Black on Grass that was going on, I remember reading a lot of that in the paper and just thinking, “Ahh, it’s the city, it’s the city” (laughter) but it wasn’t the city and, and over the years um, I think Ohio has adapted to some of the changes and in fact embracing some of the changes. We have neighbors like Indiana and Michigan that also have had a lot of Latino populations and so I think Ohio has been ahead of its time in some of those things um, Columbus, Cincinnati, Cleveland, I mean, Lorain’s population of Latinos in that area, probably as far back as anyone can remember … but I see Ohio as growing and having more growth and having more opportunities for Latinos. The Latinos are here, bilingual people are needed, regardless of colored skin, which is funny because I can remember in Texas I thought everybody spoke Spanish—white, black, brown, everybody spoke Spanish. So to come to Ohio, and you see a black person, you see a white person and you try to talk to them in Spanish (laughter) and they’re looking at you like, “What?? I don’t know what you’re saying” but, you know that was, my uh naïveté, at the time because, I told my husband, I said, “I can’t believe, I was trying to talk to this black family and they wouldn’t talk back to me, they just kept telling me like they didn’t understand”, and he said, “They probably don’t” (laughter) But, I thought everybody spoke Spanish.
EF: What do you think, since you’ve been here for many decades, what has been the biggest change that you’ve noticed in terms of the conditions of Latinos or Latino life or, life in general?
RC: I think the women, have exploded. I think the women are being empowered. I think they can handle the kitchen, but they can also handle the business world and professionalism. Um, and when I was growing up it was like, “Ehh, don’t,” “Don’t rock the boat” and, my husband was very supportive, I’m so proud of watching the Latino women just evolve, evolve and take charge.
EF: Well you mentioned a lot of how women have been active in activism, right? [RC: Yes] And that has continued to be. If you were to offer advice to immigrants to Ohio, what, what would you tell them?
RC: I would tell them to learn English. Not because I want them to lose their Spanish, I want them to keep and maintain their Spanish but it’s the way of opportunities. Same way that I would tell Anglo Americans—learn Spanish. To be bilingual, in any language, learn two languages, learn three, learn four, you’re gonna be marketable, you’re gonna be globally ready for anything that happens. So yeah, I would encourage everyone to learn a language. Um, I think we do our children, our families a disservice if we say, “Well, all I want to do is speak Spanish” um, you’re keeping yourself at a plateau instead of growing a little bit more by learning some English. Because, then, then you’re dependent on your children. Then you’re dependent on others to translate for you or to go to the store or to read the insurance papers for you um [EF: Which you had to do growing up …] Right, we’re gonna be doing a presentation on Health Care and, we’re gonna translate, but we’re going to translate and explain what the Health Care system is about and then give them opportunities, if they want to, to sign up or not and, that’s their choice.
EF: Well you brought a lot of artifacts for us and you mentioned that there’s a story [RC: There is] (laughter) behind them, so I would like to just choose a couple [RC: Okay] and let us know what that story is. Right?
RC: Well, this is probably my prized possession because it’s still, the molcajete for my salsas and stuff so, that’s one of the thing that was given to me when I left so, I’ve treasured that one. And also, the pitcher of water which I got from one of my other grandmothers, and then the big one broke so, I still keep the cup and that stays on my shelf. I had a lot of mass and plates and stuff in my living room and around the house, but this one, I did a Mexico mission trip, we did like a Habitat for Humanity, and so this one was at Piedras Negras and we did a habitat over there, and that’s where my grandfather was born. And it was funny because I didn’t even know that when we signed up for the Mexico mission trip for the church, and so I brought back this plate from Mexico because I wanted to, to share it, and I wanted to have that history, Piedras Negras and Eagle Pass, they would walk across the border to work in Texas and then go back and then, he met my grandmother and then they got married, it’s one of those things back then you could do that all the time and now we wait to cross over (laughter) and then we come back. But this little cup, and everybody wants this little cup, this little cup was my sister’s given to her from her god-parents when she was baptized and so we had a whole set of dishes and she and I would sit outside by the swing-set and we would have, I guess, tea, but we would play dishes and we would do all this stuff and this is the only survivor cup that’s left. My sister has one and I have one and it’s a little tin and when I went back to Texas years after, my mom was moving from that area, my grandmother passed away and I said, “Well I want to take some things back with me so I can add to my collection” and then I said, “Where’s that little cup?” and, and um, she says, “Well Yolanda has one but I think I have another one, m’ija, it’s in the sugar bowl” and so I thought it was funny that it was in the sugar bowl (laughter) [EF: It was used to scoop it in] yeah, to scoop, to scoop. So we washed it out and I came back. I was showing my husband and he says, and my family, and they said, “Well, what you gonna do with that?” And I said, “Well mom had it as a sugar scoop, so I think I’m gonna keep in the sugar and we’ll just use it as a sugar scoop.” So we measured it to make sure how much we have in there so, we use it as, it’s a sugar scoop so (laughter), my granddaughters now will say, “Um, don’t, that’s got a little hole in it grandma but don’t, don’t throw it away because” they’re all they’re fussing over [EF: Who gets to keep it] Who gets the cup, yeah (laughter) because I tell everyone my sister and I used to, we played dolls and the dolls got a drink and, and all of this so, the little scoopy cup was one of my favorites. And then going back every year, my grandma used to make tejidos for me and, this is one they gave me for when I got married, she said it’s a kitten, and she says, “Put this on, on your window and that way you can let the sunlight in all the time” So, they’ve all passed, they’ve all passed, all my grandmothers have passed and I have one aunt whose in her nineties and she just had her 90th birthday in December and she’s still, calls, I talk to her, she says, “I’m still living!” (laughter) She’s a riot um, she’s fun, she’s fun. Share our stories, yeah.